Internet Dating: Friend or Foe?

Like many single women my age, I've "resorted" to online dating. I don't know if I like using the word "resort" to describe it, though. Why does it have to have such a derogatory feeling? Let's take a look at our other options:

Picked up in a bar: Now, let's be honest ladies, the men that pick you up in a bar are far from classy. Sure, there may be a few exceptions. However, the guy offering to buy you a drink probably went there for that very reason: to pick up on chicks. Can't fault him for that, plus you're a catch. And hey! It's a free drink, right? But what about the beer goggle concept? Do you really want to be picked up on after he's had a few beers/mind erasers/glasses of wine/insert your favorite drink here? Hell, after a few beers I probably look as good as Angelina Joli. His inhibitions are more relaxed, which is probably why he approached your hot self to begin with, but it's far from flattering. He's probably looking to take you home right then. That's just not for me.

Your BFF's next-door neighbor: This sounds like the best set-up ever. Am I right? When you guys officially become a couple, you will get to hang out with each other all the time AND you will get to hang out with your BFF all the time. It is a win-win situation, like oh my god!! Well, that is until he stops calling you (because chances are he will). Then, what happens when you're at said BFF's house and you have those awkward run-ins? It's going to happen. You can either take the psycho stalker approach by banging on his door at 3 AM to ask him what happened or, you can become super sneaky and put your hidden CIA/ninja skills to use. For example, you now start peaking your head out the door before you leave to see if he's in the hallway. When he's not there, you begin tiptoeing down the hallway (Mission Impossible theme playing in the background, of course) peering around each corner, and then checking the parking lot for his car before you leave, just to make sure he didn't spot you. Do either of these options really sound appealing to you? Yeah, me neither.

Blind date through mutual friends: Now, there is nothing wrong with this one at all. In fact, I set up two of my very good friends two years ago, and they are still together and couldn't be happier. But, this is the exception to the rule. I was set up with my ex-husband through mutual friends...and look how well that turned out! If you don't like the person your dear friend set you up with, you not only have to explain it to the person, but also to the friend (two "it's not you, it's me" conversations? Pass). And what if it's the opposite? What if you really like the guy, but he's just not that into you? In either scenario, your friend has to be the “in-betweener” -- you know, the one you call to find out details? It's never a fun position to be in. Then you feel like you're twelve-years-old again when you ask, "Did he say anything about me? Does he like me?" Vomit.

Speed dating: get serious.


Your best man-friend's roommate: This is probably worse than your BFF's next door neighbor. Why, you ask? Think about it. You adore your man friend. His place is probably one you go to for relaxing, hanging out, watching a game, and/or the most recent YouTube sensation (queue Gangnam Style). You and the roommate soon start batting eyes at each other. Like the BFF and her next-door neighbor scenario, you get to hang out with your man friend and his mate all at the same time. It's all fun and games until it's not. If it ends badly...because it will, every relationship up to this point has...then what? Can you honestly just be friends? Are you going to have to boycott the man cave because Cupid's shot was off? What about the social gatherings? Are you going to be okay with him having another piece of arm candy? Highly doubtful. Sure, you could spike her drink, or act like a pretentious bitch around her, but that proves nothing (other than how amazingly smart and bitchy you are. WINNING!!). So, in this circumstance, you not only lose the mate, you now have to come up with a custody agreement for the man-friend: once a week and every other weekend. NEAT!!

Work: I have to admit, I work with quite a few good looking men. One of them (happily married, unfortunately for me), gave me the best advice ever: "You don't eat your meat where you buy your bread." Basically, just don't date co-workers. While there are a few cases where love has struck in the workplace, more times than not, it's going to end, and probably not in a good way. Let's not even begin to talk about the workplace rumors that will soon ensue. You're then left with the awesome fact that you have to see this person every day and every day are reminded just how much you dislike them. Everyone wants to see their ex daily, right? Um, well I don't. Just skip this as an option completely.

That brings us to online dating: This is a platform where you can be completely honest (or hopefully fairly honest). On here, you get to say what you're looking for in a mate, what your best features are, why someone should message you, etc. You get to be the salesperson for yourself, and who is better qualified? You post pictures of your choosing, take personality quizzes, and answer a bunch of random questions. You are then "matched up" by some algorithm set in place by some computer based on the answers to your questions. While this approach may first seem impersonal, it actually is the easiest on everyone. I would rather have a guy email me, and me never respond (and vice versa), then for me to have to fumble, being the super nice girl I am, to come up with some super lame excuse why I'm not interested. i.e. I’m a lesbian, I have a boyfriend (haha, right!). I’m thinking of joining a convent. Catch my drift? If a guy on one of these sites messages me, responding (or not responding) is super simple. Bald? Message deleted. Weird cat fetish? I'll pass. Proclaiming his douchebaggery by posting a picture of himself in the bathroom mirror with his shirt off? I'll take a look, but move on past it. Tony Stark look alike? Yes, please! "How YOU doing?" This situation is really ideal, because your feelings can't get overly hurt. It's so impersonal to say, "Hey, you're cute! Let's get to know each other," but it can be the start of something great.

Internet dating: friend or foe? I'm going to go with friend.