If you send a message, and the girl (or guy) doesn't reply, go ahead and safely assume they are not interested. Since I joined the site, I have had quite a few guys send multiple messages -- even after I didn't reply. If you keep messaging me when I have not replied, I'm going to realize that my choice in not replying to you was completely valid, and then categorize you as a creepy, insecure stalker. Now, scoot!
I'm not an ugly girl (I've received many messages asking why someone as good looking and awesome seeming as me is on these sites to begin with [fabulous question...wish I knew the answer]), but by no means am I a super model. So, I get honestly at least five messages a day. While this can go to my head a little, it still doesn't change the fact that a lot of guys out there are trolls. There's no way I'm going to reply to every single one of them.
Here's what happens when you message me:
On one site, my settings are set so you can't email me unless you have pictures. Hey, let's be honest -- I'm not going to start talking to a guy that I'm not physically attracted to...it's just not going to happen -- it's a dating site for crying out loud! If this is the first message the guy has sent me, his message appears with his pictures attached. Pretty nifty if you ask me! The message typically comments on something I've written on my profile or one of my pics. Props to you for taking the time to read my bio and look at my pictures. I really do appreciate it, and am flattered, honestly! After I've read Mr. IDontCheat69's message, I usually see the pictures attached, then mosey on over to his page. I check out his stats and pics. If I'm not interested (which is usually the case...so disappointing, because he has a lot going for him being that he's only 5'6 and collects guns for a living), I go back to the message and delete it (there is a storage capacity, and I'm saving mine for Tony Stark's doppelganger).
While it may not be the best approach, I think it's far more bitchy to reply, "Sorry you're bald, not interested;" or, "Sorry, you look like a douche, not interested;" or "Get serious." or, "You're 5'6. How would I be able to wear heels around you?" Instead, I opt to simply not reply. It's the easiest shut down -- and least time consuming.
Usually, after the second time messaging me, guys finally get the hint. However, one dude just didn't get it. Here's how the conversation went:
1st message: "Hey there you look super familiar, do you ever hit up any of the clubs in Salt Lake? Or do you ever work out at any of the gyms in the Salt Lake area; I have been a personal trainer for years.
My thoughts: "Really, dude? I look familiar to you? I'm not a fat ass, so clearly I do some sort of exercise. The majority of people attend local clubs and/or work out. Completely unoriginal." I then scroll through his pics while thinking, "Douche. Douche. Double douche."
The next day, 2nd message: "Hey there girl what's up, how's your day going? Hey do you mind if I ask this? You seem like a fun girl and very cute! How are you still single? Are you hitting up any fun places this weekend?"
My thoughts: *Eye roll.* "He can't even punctuate properly!" Then delete. Guess he didn't get the clue yesterday when I didn't respond...
10 minutes later (not kidding), 3rd message: "I have sent you a couple messages, and I noticed you never responded. Do you mind if I ask why? Is there something I did to offend you? You seem like a really fun and nice girl to talk to."
Normally, I wouldn't have responded (again), but this day, I just couldn't resist. I would have just deleted it. I want you to see this man in all of his glory, and take a moment to guess at why I wouldn't reply to him.
You figure it out yet? So yes, this guy is clearly a winner! I must have been on crack when I decided to not reply. Actually no, I wasn't. This day, I was in a more bitchy mood than usual, so I couldn't help but respond. Snookie thinks I should keep this response for future douches.
Here's what I replied: "First not trying to sound cocky or conceited, but I am bombarded with messages all day. If I don't respond, it just means I'm not interested. End of story. I would, however, like to shed some light on why I didn't respond. It may help you with your future attempts on this site. First, your message is seemingly nice. When I went to your profile however, I found that you have a picture with you and two random girls. I mean, that's awesome that you can get chicks, but why are you on here if there's not a shortage where you are? Then, you have pictures of you with your shirt off. I don't feel this really requires an explanation, but here goes...you clearly work hard to maintain your body, which I can appreciate, honestly. But, maybe leave a little something for the imagination, huh? The shirtless pictures scream douche bag. Those type of pictures work for some girls, not me. This is why I initially didn't reply. After I didn't reply, however, you send not one, but TWO more messages. Really? Sorry dude, but this just makes you look desperate and creepy (neither are attractive qualities, and it makes me wonder if you paid the chicks in the above mentioned photo to pose with you). You sending me additional messages after I didn't reply to the first two indicate that my first decision about not replying was the correct one. Anyway, there's your answer. I do hope you find what you're looking for, and I wish you the best of luck."
So, maybe, just maybe, I was a little hard on the guy. But good lord, really? You can't expect anything less. My motto is, "Never ask a question to which you really don't want the answer." I'm not going to sugar coat it. I figured I would help guide this mislead soul. Turns out, he still has all of the same pictures up, so mission was not accomplished. *Shaking my head.*
So, maybe, just maybe, I was a little hard on the guy. But good lord, really? You can't expect anything less. My motto is, "Never ask a question to which you really don't want the answer." I'm not going to sugar coat it. I figured I would help guide this mislead soul. Turns out, he still has all of the same pictures up, so mission was not accomplished. *Shaking my head.*
Lesson for the day: know when to say when.
*Update* Mr. RSL Fan and I had our date. It was okay, not the best first date I've been on, but fun nonetheless. I am sorry to report that he did not offer me the RSL ticket. So, he truly is an Indian giver.
Until next time...
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